it's been quit a long time. I abandoned my blog for looking back had been to painful. Tonight I looked back. It's still so painful. I've learned that with starting a new blog on Facebook I can't escape the pain even after not posting so often. The loss of my son has not softened. I miss him terribly. Not a day goes by without thinking of him. My faithfulness to continue visiting him has continued. The lawsuit continues also. I see no end to any of the pain. The holidays are approaching & my anxiety is increasing. I find myself crying a lot these days missing my son.