So far this week I have cleaned sweet basil & put it in to dry. The smell of basil in the homestead kitchen smells so good.
I have found it will take alot to fill this jar full. I will have to pick some up at the farms market again this weekend when I take Lucas to work.
I canned 20 more pints of green beans & we have eaten alot of them.
It was just Sam & I for the evening meal tonight. Lucas & Laken went out with friends. Since school has started I sure do miss having Sam home with me.
I set and ponder the things that have happened this week as I look at the view from the window. I wish life were as peaceful as the view is.
My husband was able to secure another loan to keep from going under for now it seems. What I did not know until this week was I would be required by the bank to sign a paper stating I am aware that if my husband dies before he pays the loan off I have no right to the homestead & grounds & will have to leave in that case as the bank will sell it. If the pre nump was not bad enough. What another slap in the face. I have to wonder if this is why my husband has been nicer to me lately. He needs something from me again. I can not understand why a man would not want to look out for his family & there well being if he would die. He is much older than I & chances are he could die before me. This leaves me thinking more that I am right to look out for my future & the kids future. I see if I dont then no one will. I have questions I want answered before he gets my signature. I feel I have the right to know that my gazebo & other yard & or animal cages will not be sold with his property. So much for my dream of a potting shed & more gardens. He assures me they would not be included. I feel I should have first chance at buying the property at the loan pay off price before being put out by the bank. If by some chance he is able to pay down the loan & not owe the full amount I feel I could pay off the loan with the sell of my property Gram & Pap gave me. Why should I have to pay more & the bank make money off of me? My husband wants me to just sell my property & buy the homestead & grounds for what he will owe after his new loan & then he could be out from under the debt & could start over in town close to his job in an apartment & rent a storage unit to store his mustang in & just walk to work. He can just forget it. My property would never bring the kind of money he owes. No man should ask his wife to buy the house he was to provide for his family is how I feel. I was able to find out the owner of the log home I like from the county court house this week. I got their phone number from google & I am working on the courage to call them. I can just imagine what they will think (crazy lady the house has no real estate sign in front of it). My husband knows I have been inquiring of others who the owner is. He told meI should be worring about buying a bigger vehicle to fit us all in & not the log house. He also told me he would not live in the log house because there is no view. I asked him who said he was going to live there if I could buy it? If I have to provide a home for the kids & myself I will not need him. Over the past weeks I have found there is not much help in programs available to me because I own other property that is not lived on. I am still praying for Gods help. He said he would never leave me or forsake me. I will stand on that.
Blessings Til Next Time!
Lara
