Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Smell Of Basil In The Homestead Kitchen

So far this week I have cleaned sweet basil & put it in to dry. The smell of basil in the homestead kitchen smells so good.

I have found it will take alot to fill this jar full. I will have to pick some up at the farms market again this weekend when I take Lucas to work.

I canned 20 more pints of green beans & we have eaten alot of them.

It was just Sam & I for the evening meal tonight. Lucas & Laken went out with friends. Since school has started I sure do miss having Sam home with me.

I set and ponder the things that have happened this week as I look at the view from the window. I wish life were as peaceful as the view is.

My husband was able to secure another loan to keep from going under for now it seems. What I did not know until this week was I would be required by the bank to sign a paper stating I am aware that if my husband dies before he pays the loan off I have no right to the homestead & grounds & will have to leave in that case as the bank will sell it. If the pre nump was not bad enough. What another slap in the face. I have to wonder if this is why my husband has been nicer to me lately. He needs something from me again. I can not understand why a man would not want to look out for his family & there well being if he would die. He is much older than I & chances are he could die before me. This leaves me thinking more that I am right to look out for my future & the kids future. I see if I dont then no one will. I have questions I want answered before he gets my signature. I feel I have the right to know that my gazebo & other yard & or animal cages will not be sold with his property. So much for my dream of a potting shed & more gardens. He assures me they would not be included. I feel I should have first chance at buying the property at the loan pay off price before being put out by the bank. If by some chance he is able to pay down the loan & not owe the full amount I feel I could pay off the loan with the sell of my property Gram & Pap gave me. Why should I have to pay more & the bank make money off of me? My husband wants me to just sell my property & buy the homestead & grounds for what he will owe after his new loan & then he could be out from under the debt & could start over in town close to his job in an apartment & rent a storage unit to store his mustang in & just walk to work. He can just forget it. My property would never bring the kind of money he owes. No man should ask his wife to buy the house he was to provide for his family is how I feel. I was able to find out the owner of the log home I like from the county court house this week. I got their phone number from google & I am working on the courage to call them. I can just imagine what they will think (crazy lady the house has no real estate sign in front of it). My husband knows I have been inquiring of others who the owner is. He told meI should be worring about buying a bigger vehicle to fit us all in & not the log house. He also told me he would not live in the log house because there is no view. I asked him who said he was going to live there if I could buy it? If I have to provide a home for the kids & myself I will not need him. Over the past weeks I have found there is not much help in programs available to me because I own other property that is not lived on. I am still praying for Gods help. He said he would never leave me or forsake me. I will stand on that.

Blessings Til Next Time!


  1. Lara, I am sorry you are in such difficulty, God will surely help you and your children. Wading in where it is none of my business, but perhaps you could contact Crown Financial for advice on how to handle some of your questions. (I have no affiliation with them). They are a Christian organization founded many years ago by Larry Burkett. They help so many with difficulties. They have a radio broadcast. They are on the web, you can do a search, they can help you find good counselors in your area, and resources to help you. Praying for peace for you and your children.

  2. Lara, I'm so sorry things haven't got any better for you. I say don't sign the paper, it just doesn't seem right. There is a lot of free legal advice out there.
    I will be thinking of you and your children may you soon find some peace in your life.
    Life should not be lived in sadness.

  3. I agree I wouldn't sign those papers without legal advise or get it in writing that your stuff will be taken care of..and he can sell his precious mustang..since he can walk to work..why pay for a storage unit for it..doesn't make sense..I wouldn't give him a dime..he's only looking out for himself..

  4. Lara, I've been away for the summer and just got caught back up on your blog. I'm sorry you are dealing with so much right now. Prayers for you my friend.

    Carmen and the Primcats

  5. Hi,
    I wish you the best and I've been in a similar situation. Make plans for a home for you and your children, never sign away your property, love it and believe that with faith you can move forward to a brighter life.


  6. Ahh Lara, basil is good for us yes?
    I agree with the gals... don't sign without legal help. I love ya girl and respect ya, but I gotta say, I think this man is mentally ill, maybe a tumor on the brain. His actions are just bazaar. I sure will pray that you and the kids get away from him safely, and have no further problems from him.

  7. Wish you were closer - I have bunches of basil in my herb garden going to seed as I haven't had the time to harvest it. You dry in a dehydrator? I've always just hung mine (well, I don't HAVE a dehydrator!!)

    Sorry to hear of your latest dilemma - wish there was some advice or words of wisdom I could give - but there are just too many variables to your situation - without knowing the terms of your prenup, or the laws of your state regarding marital property, etc., anything ventured might be inaccurate and put you in a worse position. I do, however, feel strongly that you should not sign anything until you have consulted an attorney knowledgeable in this area who is looking out for YOUR interest. Yes, I know, it costs money - but a couple of hours of attorney fees might be very well worth it given what's at stake. And do not rely on what your husband is telling you will or will not happen - or the advice or assurances given by the bank or their attorneys - their interests are entirely different than yours. And, yes, you are right that you need to be putting your and your children's interests and futures first... I continue to pray for you and hope that you find resolution and peace....Hugs ~ Robin

  8. Lara, I've had a pretty busy summer and have been away from blogging. I had to go quite a ways back to catch up on all that is happening. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I had tears in my eyes as I was reading about Laken's accident and praise God that she survived! My oldest is driving with a permit right now and I think how on earth could I ever live each day knowing they are out there driving without the peace from God that He has them in His hands?? You don't realize how scary it is until you have a child driving. So glad that Laken is fine.

    Sorry to hear about the problems with your husband. I will pray for you and your family. I know there must be tension in the home and the kids might not know everything that is going on, but they know enough to realize things aren't right. I hope they are doing well. I can't believe how rude your husband is. I know that it is only through the grace of God that you are surviving. You are a much stronger woman than I could ever be. I just can't imagine what every day must be like. I'm so sorry girl. Praying for you to find relief from that man very soon!!

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  10. Lara
    I will continue to pray for you~ that the lord will lead you in the right direction for your happiness~