Thursday, October 24, 2013



I was gifted with these wonderful  surprise gifts some months ago by Trica from Hillcrest Home Prims. Yummy smelling kitchen apple soap bath & body, candle holder and candle, Cotton candy hand gel bath & body and this thoughtful card. Thanks again Trica.

Sam and I on one of our day outings this past summer.

For months we have been slowly remodeling this room. Bead board put up walls painted and ceiling. The door is waiting it's facelift.
 This wall is done. The shelf to the side standing on the floor will go on another wall soon.
 The shelf has a blanket crane in it and will go above the PC.
Wood trim and shelf will be installed around the windows. I am loving the look of my Heirloom Weavers coverlets. Using them after storing them for I'd guess 2 years.
 I found these comfy ugly orange pillows at a second hand store and have plans to order pillow covers from Heirloom Weavers I hope some time soon. I am searching used furniture ads for a dresser to match the one I already have for the other corner at the end of the bed.
The fan light needs replaced. The shelf used to be my plate and cup holder minus the plate shelves and cup pegs. A work in progress soon to be tv cabinet with doors.
The plate and cup shelf used to be to the left but the dry goods cabinet is now there. I was going to ask you all if the plates looked ok on top of the pegs
 Or better with out but since I decided I did not like them there and now there in the kitchen canned goods cabinet and I really like them there. Ops no pic sorry. So this is what is in progress when there is someone to move or do some other things.
It has been very hard for me since the death of my son. I miss him so much. I am still in disbelief it could have really happened. Every day he dies all over for me. It is an agony and pain that never goes away. One has no idea what it is like to lose a child until you are in that dark painful lonely place. If you find you learn someone you know has lost a child the best thing you can do is just listen as long as they want to talk about their child even if you feel uncomfortable. Trust me it is much more uncomfortable when others avoid conversation of your dead child or remove all their photos from there home or assume you want to be left alone. The biggest lie told is I'm ok. Were not but it makes others feel better and they don't need to make an excuse to be on there way. Just a tip. I will close for now and after more bed rest I hope to return.

30 comments:

  1. Love what you are doing in your home, and the Heirloom Weavers bed covers look wonderful! So nice of Tricia to send you those wonderful goodies.... I really like how you have the candle holder on the basket! A great idea that I may just have to steal!
    Such a great pic of you and Sam... :)
    Prayers continue for you and your family.... I know you grieve so much.... I wish you comfort and peace.

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    1. Thank you for all your prayers and kind complement of the changes being made in my home. It slow going. When not on bed rest and some help is around I am using this to fill my hours. Oh I would not mind you using my candle basket idea. Go for it.

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  2. Hi Lara how wonderful your projects look. I miss your writings and glad we all could be a sounding board for you. God bless you.

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    1. Thank you so much. I have some pictures lined up for my next post. When I am feeling up to it.

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  3. Evening Laura, I was thinking of you lately........love the projects you are making in the homestead, i do love the weavers blankets, beautiful.......We are hear for you anytime you need a friend, keeping you in my prayers, Big Hugs Francine.

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    1. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers. I have had the converted and blankets for a long while. I'm pretty thrilled about using them and not seeing them in the bag on my chest.

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  4. enjoyed seeing your works in progress, I have always liked the things you do,
    hugs and prayers continue for you and your family.

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    1. Thank you for your continued prayers. The projects are keeping me busy when I'm able to in between rest and melt downs.

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  5. HI dear friend Lara,

    I am happy you loved your goodies.
    I love seeing how your homestead is coming together. I looks like a prim homestead. LOVE IT!!!!!!!
    Send me out an email as soon as you can. I have been very busy. I will tell you more through email. I adore the picture of you and Sam. He is a handsome young man.
    Always, always in my thoughts and my prayers sweet friend,
    Big loving hugs,
    Tricia

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    1. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts and continued prayers. The projects are occupying my hours. It is slow going. Between the melt downs bed rest and needing others help. Yes I loved the goodies. It was such a kind gift. Thank you again .

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  6. Hi Lara,
    I really like the pic of you and Sam enjoying a day together.
    The house is really undergoing a transformation and looks amazing. Your coverlets are gorgeous and really make the bedroom just prim perfection.
    Hugs and prayers go up daily for you and your wonderful family.
    Donna

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    1. Thank you for your continued prayers. The transformation is helping occupying my hours. The death of my son and the grief has consumed much of me. There has been some more progress with the house that I will post about when I fill up to it. The Heirloom Weavers bedding is well worth purchasing. It was time to take it out of the bags.

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  7. Your home looks amazing. So cozy and warm. I love your bed cover. Someday, I would like to get one. Love your bedroom walls. What color is that?

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    1. Thank you I am putting myself into this house project when I can. You can see the new line of coverlets www.familyheirloomweavers.com When I am up to it I will include the information about the paint. Hope you will be back to visit.

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  8. Oh, how I love your home and all you're doing. I Love your canned goods cabinet that I'll bet used to be a hoiser cabinet. I have one and love it.
    You asked if Bill was going to be baking pumpkin pies....I doubt it but I will be.
    Life is Good

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    1. Thank you for your sweet complement. I am guessing you have made quite a few pumpkin pies by now. My son who passed away loved his pumpkin pie. We all like it but I have not been able to bring myself to baking one since he is gone. My dry good cupboard has fond memories. It was the last treasure he his brother Sam and I gathered up and hauled home together.

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  9. oh. damn. I am here just to listen. I'll sit all day while you tell me about the loss and the sorrow. I just cannot imagine. prayers. positive thoughts. Gods Grace. to you.

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    1. Thank you for your prayers. There is no way one can imagine the pain of losing a child. Over the past five years there has been three other teens who have lost their lives in car crashes as my son and his friend. At the time I knew their parents had to be experiencing pain but never did I know what they were and are still going through. No parent should know this pain. When I am up to it I will be posting some house progress and share some on a group I started with some other grieving mothers.

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  10. I read a few of your posts and love this blog. Although you said the cabin in your header is your dream cabin, the decorating you have done on the inside of your home fits perfectly with your dream home.

    I am saddened to see you have lost a son to death. The little bits I read in previous posts breaks my heart . The picture of you with your son Sam makes me smile.

    The woven coverlet is amazing ! I hope you find pillow covers for your orange pillows.

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    1. I am glad you like my blog. Welcome to you. I hope to post some progress on the house when I can. The death of my son and the grief that has consumed much of my time has affected me greatly. Thank you for your condolences.

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  11. Lara, I was happy to see your comment on my blog. You have been on my mind these last two days--perhaps it is the coming of the holidays and knowing how difficult this time will be for your family. Your home re-do's look so cozy, just right. You have a good eye!

    I hope that during the holidays you will have time to just sit with your family and tell those remember-when stories of your son--the funny ones, the kooky ones, the awesome ones, and the touching ones. Those stories, and finding meaning and purpose in his life will keep him alive in everything you do.

    You know, after my son's death we told many, many stories about him. In fact, the stories are still being told. His energy, enthusiasm and strong ethics affected everyone around him. After he died, many in our family began getting into fitness as he was--running, biking, kayaking have become part of life for cousins, nieces and nephews--and his brothers too. His personal code "Forditude' (his last name was Ford) became a decal on our cars and a standard to live up to. Many changed their lives because of what they thought he would want them to do/be. The pain of losing him will never go away, but we have his code and memory to live by and live up to.

    You are right that to say you're okay is not really the truth. People don't know what to say, do they?n Better that they say something than nothing though. Now, almost 4 years after losing him, I find that I can bring up my son in conversation without bursting into tears, and that I can tell people things about him and be okay. I spoke to his class reunion this summer, to tell them what he had done with his life. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I did it because those people were hurting too and needed to know that his life was not in vain, that he had done things and that he had made a difference in this world. And in the end, it helped me to tell it to them.

    Sending a big hug and many prayers, and just wanting you to know that I am here and ready to listen anytime. I want to know all about your son, his dreams and accomplishments, the silly things he did and the way you loved him.

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  12. Thank you for thinking of me and your prayers. The holidays are extra hard. Suspossed to be family gathering time. I'm still not feeling up to the celebrating. You are so right about telling the stories of good times and just talking and remembering who and how they were. My son was into the fitness thing as your son was. He loved lifting weights. Endurance training to build his stamina along with those arm muscles and he was proud of his abs. We used to arm wrestle. He would let me all but put him down saying so you think you can take me. Well we would laugh and be would put down. He was such a good friend me and son. He loved bicycle riding baseball track basketball weightlifting. No matter what he tried he was good at it. He had saved and was paying for a dirt bike. He picked it up 2 weeks before he was killed. It scared me to watch him ride. I can still see him in my mind riding on just the back wheel in the front field up the hill grinning ear to ear. I think it was wonderful you were able to speak at the reunion. Your sons memory carries on in his classmates. My son's class graduated last summer and invited me to come. The had a flower arrangement and his picture on the stage. I was given a hat tassel. It was a bitter sweet night. I was honored they remembered my son and made him a part of graduation. I watched all these students grow up over the school years. Some visited our home. Some were in sports with my son. I looked forward to seeing my son graduate but never got to see. Our sons hold a special place in our hearts and will always. I have said when you lose a child your love continues and still grows to the point you feel like exploding because their not hear to shower on them.

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  13. Good morning! Having my morning cup of tea with you today. That is a good way to describe it, Lara. Love does continue to grow. My son is in my thoughts every day, more I think than when he was living and we just accepted that he was okay. I am glad you are able to respond to comments today, and I hope to see more of your progress on your house. One thought (and it's just a thought): I wonder if there is something you could do or establish in your son's name for the holidays. Maybe some other young man who needs help at the holidays--arrange for gifts for him? or maybe establish a 2K run/walk in your son's name? It's a positive thing you can do that keeps him in people's memory as well as does some positive good. There was a volleyball scholarship established in my son's name, money donated to vet's causes, a charity golf tournament, and things like that. In December a friend and I are doing a storytelling/carols house concert with the profits to be donated to a vet's cause, since Jon was a vet. Just an idea. Sending much love to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you for your ideas. I do want to keep his memory alive. I would like to reach other teens making them aware of the aftermath and pain the death of your child causes. So many don't seem to take this serious. wishing you a good turn out for the storytelling/carols.

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  14. Hi Lara,
    I came over to visit you and comment on your lovely home. As I read, I learned that you lost a son. I am so very sorry to hear this. How heartbreaking for you & your family. I pray that the memories of him will sustain & comfort you all.
    Grief is a very personal thing, and only you can decide how to deal with it. Take your time and be good to yourself. My heart goes out to you, sweet lady.
    Hugs!

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    1. So glad you came for a visit. Thank you for your condolences. I have beautiful memories of my son. I am thankful for those. We have more projects in progress and some lined up.

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  15. Hello Lara,
    My name is Cindy and I live in Virginia. I stumbled across your blog this morning. When I started looking at your blog I was drawn to it by the pictures but, in the back of my head, as all women do I was thinking about all of the things that are going on in my life. I have been having a little self pitty party. After reading into your blog WOW....you really woke me up. As the tears began to roll down my face I realized my problems are can be overcome. My heart breaks for you. I will have to say though, you are such an incredibly strong women. You must have such a strong faith. I have never lost a child but I lost my father when I was 14 and you are so right, you really do want to talk about them and you want those around you to just listen. I feel like if I stop talking about him he will be forgotten even though I know that I will never ever forget him. Your son was such a handsome guy and I feel sure that he is an angel that is watching over you today. Even though I don't know you I would like to send you a big virtual hug. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this holiday and I also pray that you are able to heal.
    Luv...
    Cindy

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