Wednesday, November 13, 2013

On Going Homestead Projects

Kitchen projects: This shelf Lucas and I were working on and  I decided to finish it. I added some of my Grams old jars she had given me.
The canned goods cupboard before I added the pewter dishes and after adding them.

Next to come is a make over for the spice shelf.
I wanted let you all know I have started to reply to each comment on my posts. The previous post was the first. So by chance you left a comment you might want to revisit and read my reply to your comment.
This week has been frustrating. We met dead ends in all our visits and calls inquiring of the car crash Lucas was killed in. We need an attorney just to find out who attended our son at the crash. The 911 call  was erased at one of the ambulance services. We have not found out about another ambulance services yet. The original 911 call that dispatched three fire companies we need an attorney to listen to it. As yet no one can tell us where our sons left leg and foot and his right foot are for sure. The funeral director had denied his left leg and foot were not delivered with the rest of his body when I had my meeting in June then tried to convince me I didn't see what I saw when I lifted the blanket before the first service. He then told me they would have been preserved and put in with my son but could not remember where. Hours after Lucas was killed when my husband went to identify Lucas the funeral director told him he had to send the fire company back out to find Lucas leg and foot. Weeks ago we went to talk to the PSP commander asking about Lucas leg and foot. We were told they would have been sent away and cremated. No one can give us a straight answer as to where his leg and foot were found or who retrieved it. Really I don't think that is something someone would forget. When I viewed the crash photos there were not photos of his leg and foot. I was showed a photo of a car part and told it was under there. I seen all the other graphic photos of my son in the car. Why was there not a photo of his leg and foot? I'll never forget those images. If we were just told the truth I would have never looked at them.  My child was in pieces and we get what will it matter, he is dead and won't need them. It matters to me. I love him and he deserved better treatment of his body. He was a person. He was my son. I miss him.
The so called girlfriend continues to tell me she has no memory right hand on the Bible swear to God. She has told others she is never going to tell me. There has been way to many people she has told for this to be a lie. This week she had my son's name tattooed on her with a cross and angel wings and forever free with the crash date. My son is not forever free. My son is forever dead. Her X boyfriend let it be known he and his mother are coming after me for money. He had the nerve to say he didn't care Lucas was dead and he didn't like him anyway. I made the comment my son was good enough for you when you had to have a ride that night. His mother said she contacted the police and threatened if his name was used or comments about him she was going to take action and this was her warning and she only gives one warning. This unbelievable nightmare never ends. I just want my son back.   

25 comments:

  1. I like the shelf...it will be a nice way to think of your son, as you use it! I'm sorry you have to go through all of this, in addition to losing your son. I'm sure it makes the healing even harder. Hugs!

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    1. The shelf is a happy memory. He was building a log fort in the woods he never got to finish. He wanted to put the shelf in the fort. Thanks for visiting and your kind words.

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  2. Love how things are looking great.So sorry for the hardships you face daily.I can not even begin to imagine the pain.Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.I pray that you soon have the answers you seek.Hugs,Jen

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    1. The changes are helping fill my hours. Thanks for continued prayer and keeping me in your thoughts.

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  3. Love the shelf and your decorating! I agree with Alica that finishing the shelf is a great way to remember better times with your son.
    I'm sorry that you are hitting so many road blocks in your quest for answers, Lara. I can't imagine your frustration. Please stay strong....many prayers for you. May healing and comfort come your way.

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    1. Thank you for your prayers. Decorating helps pass my time. Thank you for your kind complement and visiting.

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  4. The shelf looks wonderful and the jars fit just perfectly, i'm thankful you have this. The pantry cupboard looks just wonderful, it is such a beautiful piece. You can really see the difference from one photo to the next.

    I'm sorry to hear of your continued struggle about the information. I still pray for you. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you Annie I apperciate your continued prayers.

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  5. Continued prayers as you navigate this difficult journey.

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    1. Thank you so much for lifting me in your prayers and visiting.

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  6. I think of you and pray for you so often, bloggy friend. God is giving you much grace to endure this long, hard walk. If you were close I would come over and give you a great big hug and we'd have a good cry together. Marinate yourself in Scripture, dear one. Keep your eyes on Jesus... keep trusting the one who is trustworthy.

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    1. Your always in my thoughts and prayer. I check back to your blog often to see how you are and to gleam from your nuggets of scripture. I would take you up on a good cry. I would like to skip the upcoming holidays. As you know there just not the same when missing a child. Thanks for visiting and prayers.

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  7. Happy you decided to use the shelf Lara, looks beautiful with the jars......keeping you in my prayers, hope you find the answers you need, Hugs Francine.

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    1. Thanks for visiting and prayers. Seeing the shelf is a happy memory. My jars are to. Gram gave me them before she passed away.

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  8. I really like the shelf, it looks great with your jars! Continued thoughts and prayers to you. Hugs, Mindy

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

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  9. Lara,
    The shelf is beautiful, and I think Lucas would be very proud of your continuing on it.
    I am so sorry that as yet, there has not been some good news that you can cling to, which helps to being some sense, and some order to such a terrible accident.
    I understand that many times, no one wants to discuss the details of such a terrible accident with the family of a young person who is taken from us. They don't always understand that we may need to hear all of what happened, or as much as can be made available to us.
    I suspect that Lucas left his body very quickly in the midst of such a terrible accident. He was probably "home safe" before anyone knew about it. At least this is what I pray for, along with comfort, love and peace for you, my friend.

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    1. Thank you for your continued prayer and stopping in to visit. The shelf is a happy memory. I need as many as I can remember to help push the bad memories out of my thoughts. At times I wish I could make my mind just stop thinking. I would like to just skip the holidays. I think of how hard Thanks Giving and black Friday must be for you. My heart goes out to you.

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  10. I have been reading your blog for a few years and
    God Bless You, your life has not been easy even before the terrible accident. You have endured so much I can't but feel and pray for you. Your projects are top notch and there are many people feel the same as I do about you.

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    1. So you have been along for the ride for some time. All the things I have endured I have always been able to bounce back knowing I still had the most important ones in my life. I questioned hours after Lucas was killed with all I have gone through why losing my child. My children are my life line. It has been extremely hard. Starting some projects helps fill my hours. Lucas was always willing to help me. Now I'm pretty much on my own. Thanks for stopping in.

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  11. Lara, I really like the new shelf and the fact that you and Lucas started it together makes it even more special. I know that you want answers and I hate that no one is prepared to give them to you but I agree with Alexandra that I think Lucas was gone long before anyone even knew about the accident. I continue to pray for you and your sweet family that you may find peace even if you don't get answers.
    Donna

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  12. Thank you for visiting and continued prayers.

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  13. You have seen what no mother should have to endure, Lara. Your strength is amazing; you continue to go forward, to seek answers and peace. I would be so angry that people were not giving me straight answers. As for the boy threatening you with lawsuits and whatever, that's what insurance is for, isn't it. Let them deal with him, and stay away from it as much as you can. That kind of crap you don't need. Your picture gallery, your shelf and all the work you've done in your home reflect your love of your son, and his continued life through you. I didn't know you had grandchildren--what pleasure and comfort you must feel when you can have them with you. Still praying hard that you will find your way again to some kind of peace, and still keeping your son in my prayers as well. His grace will lighten your load and light up your future.

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  14. Hello,
    I can not begin to imagine all that you have been dealing with! I know you did not have an easy life before Lucas passed away. You may never get the answers you are looking for. I can suggest that you call some lawyers in another area of the country or send them an email or letter in the mail detailing all that you know of the accident and all the different stories that you have been told. Many firm have so much work they do a year pro bono to give back and maybe you will get lucky. Do not contact these people on your own! I do not see how they can sue. They have a limited amount of time and if they haven't filed yet, time is running! I would not say a word to anyone about this in your area! Try to find a lawyer that will work for you for free! They do it all the time! I hope and pray you get the answers you need. I continue to keep you in my prayers! Your home is beautiful and the projects you do are just lovely!
    Hugs,
    Lynn

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