Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Changing It Up A Bit

I rehung the little cabinet that Atlee his girlfriend & grands gave me for my last birthday above the dry sink. It was in the kitchen but I took it down when I put the new kitchen cabinet there. So its new home is in the room off the kitchen. Laken has been staying with friends for some time now & plans to start taking her things there little by little over the next few weeks. I know she is twenty but I hate to have her go out on her own. Sam wants her room but I told him not to get in a hurry & she could be back before we know it. So no major changes to her room any time soon.

I found this photo in the calender that was left on the door today by the fuel company. I love old log cabins & this old mill fits right in as a dream home to me. My ducks could swim in the water & I could hear the sound of running water as the water wheel turns & spills the water out. Dreaming on so I am.
The homestead owner my future X had fuel oil delivered today. The fuel will be heating the section of the homestead he lives in & the section the kids & I live in. Please dont get me wrong I am thankful the kids & I will be warm. I have been sorting nineteen years of stuff over the weeks. I have removed his family antiques & gave them to him. The items over the years have meant much to me but I no longer want to here they are his. I thought when his mother called over the years & told me she had something I would like & she was giving it to me it was for keeps. They really mean nothing to him. Last week he started fights over his Grandmothers butcher knife he believed I had taken but he had locked in his filing cabinet a rawhide bone he saw Sams little dog chewing on. He believed I took his rawhide bone from his precious dog Buddy. Which I didnt. Lucas found a truck at a car lot he was interested in & asked me to talk to his father about. I asked him to take Lucas & check the truck out for him. Which he refused to do & told me I was in a hurry to have Lucas wreak & if that was what I wanted then take him your self. It all ended with him telling me my family can not come for Christmas & I dont give a rats ass about you & I dont love you & never will & I dont have to be your friend. So whats new about that I wondered & what did that have to do with Lucas? He sounds & acts like a child not a grown 59 year old. We have not spoken since. Weeks ago when all was worked out that the kids & I could continue to live at the homestead for the next five years I was relieved but now I wonder if it will be a curse for the next five years & is it even worth it? This is something I will have to decide after Christmas it over. Last night Lucas & I checked out the truck. The windshield was broken all the way across along with other repairs that would have to be made. The dealer was selling as is with no repairs. He was disappointed. I need to go pick him up from work soon & I have things to load for the goodwill store yet tonight. Wishing you all a good evening.

Blessings Til Next Time!


  1. Lara, I really don't know what to tell you ~ I'm lost for words. I'm so sorry things aren't working out any better for you. I'm sorry you don't have any support from your soon to be X. I say have your family over for the holidays if that's what you truly want. I would also look for somewhere else to live too!
    I hope you find some happiness soon.
    Prim Blessings

  2. Lara you hang on in there girl! Don't give him the satisfaction of you leaving, you put a smile on your face and hold your head high!
    Sending you much much love and strength and determination to get through this rough time from across the pond,

  3. Like the other Robin, I'm not sure what to say - except you continue to be in my thoughts and I continue to pray for you and the kids. As for Christmas - I'd be making plans to have a grand Christmas with your kids at one of your family member's - and leave him to his misery. I know others feel otherwise, and I certainly don't pretend to know have the "right" answers, but I can say, if it were ME, I'd be wanting out as soon as I could. Forget the 5-year plan. I cannot imagine you can have any peace in that place - even if it is your "home" - when he is there. Like I said - that may not be the solution for you, but I would need to find my inner peace before I started healing - and it couldn't happen under those circumstances. Hugs & Blessings to you.....Robin (the "other" one....) ;o)

  4. Hi Lara,

    YOur shelf is really cute, but I really like the dry sink. It's lovely :) :)

    I"m praying for the home situation. I'm praying God will give you make wise decisions, to be able to tell truth from the lie where your X is that you can protect yourself and your family :) :) God is faithful and He'll watch out for you!!!! Love and hugs, Heather :) :)

    p.s. Do you have any trustworthy wise friends that can cancel you on this?

  5. OH, he gave you a 5 year plan? that was nice of him, what is in it for him? Me, I would get myself out so my kids would be happy to be home with me. Is there a house on the property left to you? Maybe you could put a mobile home on it for a short time. I wish you could get away from him so your kids could come home...
    BTW, did you get an attorney of your own to go over the pre-nup? Things change when you have kids. I can't imagine that he can get away without paying support or providing for you and the kids in some way. It appears there are a lot of monsters out there.

  6. I am so sorry for you! I so wished I lived close to you, I would gladly put you and the children in one of our rentals!! You would not have to endure this treatment for 5 more years. He is driving his children away and they will never want a relationship with him! Words are worse than blows and once they are spoken they are never forgotten!! Big hugs and prayers for you and the children. I am praying that God deals with your X and that the devil get out of him because he certainly isn't acting like a Christian at all!!