Spice Shelf Make Over

I decided to paint the spice shelf. I am continuing to paint some of my black pieces a lighter color to brighten the homestead up a bit.

I am really liking the lighter color and I am considering painting the paper towel holder and sugar bucket.

Sunny warm days have come to a close as winter is setting in. This was one of those sunny days when Topaz enjoyed her play in the gardens. Topaz has grown and is quiet a companion to our family. She hates to see Sam go off to school but she gets so excited when the bus comes and Sam is at the door. She must hear the bus stopping because she jumps on the chair to watch out the window til Sam comes in the door. Lucas picked such a fine pup when he picked her. I wish he were here to enjoy her.

I framed my favorite pictures of Lucas and hung them here. The light shines in his memory.

My oldest son has been bringing my Grand Girls to visit once a week. They are such a delight. Laken is working at both her jobs still.  She will soon have enough saved for a down payment on a vehicle. I pray this vehicle will not end in tragedy. Her very first car she had one day shy of 2 months when Lucas and her boyfriend were killed in it.

We are still working on the bedroom remodels. Sam's room needs just a few more things yet and I will show you all.
Thanks for stopping by to visit our homestead.

On Going Homestead Projects

Kitchen projects: This shelf Lucas and I were working on and  I decided to finish it. I added some of my Grams old jars she had given me.

The canned goods cupboard before I added the pewter dishes and after adding them.

Next to come is a make over for the spice shelf.
I wanted let you all know I have started to reply to each comment on my posts. The previous post was the first. So by chance you left a comment you might want to revisit and read my reply to your comment.
This week has been frustrating. We met dead ends in all our visits and calls inquiring of the car crash Lucas was killed in. We need an attorney just to find out who attended our son at the crash. The 911 call  was erased at one of the ambulance services. We have not found out about another ambulance services yet. The original 911 call that dispatched three fire companies we need an attorney to listen to it. As yet no one can tell us where our sons left leg and foot and his right foot are for sure. The funeral director had denied his left leg and foot were not delivered with the rest of his body when I had my meeting in June then tried to convince me I didn't see what I saw when I lifted the blanket before the first service. He then told me they would have been preserved and put in with my son but could not remember where. Hours after Lucas was killed when my husband went to identify Lucas the funeral director told him he had to send the fire company back out to find Lucas leg and foot. Weeks ago we went to talk to the PSP commander asking about Lucas leg and foot. We were told they would have been sent away and cremated. No one can give us a straight answer as to where his leg and foot were found or who retrieved it. Really I don't think that is something someone would forget. When I viewed the crash photos there were not photos of his leg and foot. I was showed a photo of a car part and told it was under there. I seen all the other graphic photos of my son in the car. Why was there not a photo of his leg and foot? I'll never forget those images. If we were just told the truth I would have never looked at them.  My child was in pieces and we get what will it matter, he is dead and won't need them. It matters to me. I love him and he deserved better treatment of his body. He was a person. He was my son. I miss him.
The so called girlfriend continues to tell me she has no memory right hand on the Bible swear to God. She has told others she is never going to tell me. There has been way to many people she has told for this to be a lie. This week she had my son's name tattooed on her with a cross and angel wings and forever free with the crash date. My son is not forever free. My son is forever dead. Her X boyfriend let it be known he and his mother are coming after me for money. He had the nerve to say he didn't care Lucas was dead and he didn't like him anyway. I made the comment my son was good enough for you when you had to have a ride that night. His mother said she contacted the police and threatened if his name was used or comments about him she was going to take action and this was her warning and she only gives one warning. This unbelievable nightmare never ends. I just want my son back.   

I was gifted with these wonderful  surprise gifts some months ago by Trica from Hillcrest Home Prims. Yummy smelling kitchen apple soap bath & body, candle holder and candle, Cotton candy hand gel bath & body and this thoughtful card. Thanks again Trica.

Sam and I on one of our day outings this past summer.

For months we have been slowly remodeling this room. Bead board put up walls painted and ceiling. The door is waiting it's facelift.

 This wall is done. The shelf to the side standing on the floor will go on another wall soon.

 The shelf has a blanket crane in it and will go above the PC.

Wood trim and shelf will be installed around the windows. I am loving the look of my Heirloom Weavers coverlets. Using them after storing them for I'd guess 2 years.

 I found these comfy ugly orange pillows at a second hand store and have plans to order pillow covers from Heirloom Weavers I hope some time soon. I am searching used furniture ads for a dresser to match the one I already have for the other corner at the end of the bed.

The fan light needs replaced. The shelf used to be my plate and cup holder minus the plate shelves and cup pegs. A work in progress soon to be tv cabinet with doors.

The plate and cup shelf used to be to the left but the dry goods cabinet is now there. I was going to ask you all if the plates looked ok on top of the pegs

 Or better with out but since I decided I did not like them there and now there in the kitchen canned goods cabinet and I really like them there. Ops no pic sorry. So this is what is in progress when there is someone to move or do some other things.

It has been very hard for me since the death of my son. I miss him so much. I am still in disbelief it could have really happened. Every day he dies all over for me. It is an agony and pain that never goes away. One has no idea what it is like to lose a child until you are in that dark painful lonely place. If you find you learn someone you know has lost a child the best thing you can do is just listen as long as they want to talk about their child even if you feel uncomfortable. Trust me it is much more uncomfortable when others avoid conversation of your dead child or remove all their photos from there home or assume you want to be left alone. The biggest lie told is I'm ok. Were not but it makes others feel better and they don't need to make an excuse to be on there way. Just a tip. I will close for now and after more bed rest I hope to return.

Fall is Approaching the Homestead

It has been some time since I  have wrote a post to my blog. The past 14 month's have been over whelming for me. I thank you all for your prayer's, kind word's & for the special surprise package I received & I hope to post about soon. Fall is approaching the homestead for sure. The garden will soon once again sleep for the winter season. I am ready for it this year again. My emotional and physical health need to sleep as my garden will. I am not sure about where my future post's will lead. My life has changed so much and I face life minute by minute most of the time. I am pretty sure that my son's death has been buried with him or should I say buried with what was left of him. There have been meeting's with the police, coroner, fire chief, funeral director, lawyer's, doctor's, shrink & other's. Even family member's. The common response for them is what difference will it make the end result is your son is dead. What difference dose it make if all his body was recovered or if it was buried with him or not. For me it matter's. I love my child. Why dose it not matter my 17 year old son is dead He was killed buried & forgotten as he never mattered. No justice.I have been shocked by the unreal treatment from some. I was told early on that you have to be forgiving of thing's some will say not thinking. I learned this fast. How ever along this journey of grief I encountered some who I want karma to visit them in my sight. I'll leave you all with hopes of returning soon. Lara       

Topaz One Year

Topaz was one year old yesterday! Oh how she has grown! Journal Entry: You wanted her for your very own, You thought it could not be,Rolly Polly blue eyed pup captured my heart. She was the key. Home you would be. Cradled in your arm our talk of how you'd haul her in your truck every where you'd go. A bull she would be. Black leather spiked collar she'd wear. Tucked under your arm by your side she would sleep. So short a time you'd have your very own pup. Yesterday she was a year old. She is my last thread to you. I promise I'll always care for her for you. Love & Miss You My Son

The Barn Hollow had a wonderful giveaway and I was lucky to win this sweet Primitive Grunged Bunny. I received it before Easter and the bunny made it's self at home in the homestead kitchen on my stove board. Be sure and visit The Barn Hollow. You can click on the giveaway bunny photo in my right side bar to get there. After there be sure and visit The Barn Hollow ETSY shop. I am so excited to give this sweet wonderful smelling bunny a home in my kitchen. Easter may be past but the bunny is staying for the spring season. I exchanged the carrot for a strawberry today. Thank you Kim. Blessings Til Next Time! Lara

Around 5:15 A.M. today I woke to the sound of the phone ringing. As I woke the fear hit. No one calls this early unless something is wrong. I made my way to The kitchen feeling sicker with each step as my heart was racing. School was cancelled but my mind was questioning why. I turned the porch light on and got my answer quickly. I had no idea snow was coming our way but here it was once again. All was covered in a blanket of white. I opened the window and door to take these pictures. After sending a quick email off I snuggled back under the quilts. After having the ceiling fan blades painted and the fireplace basket painted I gave some thought to lightening up some other items. Now I think that looks much better. I am still into my drab colors but just wanted more touches of white here and there. As for the blog changes I mentioned I have decided to keep the cabin in my header. So I was worried over nothing after all. It is quite beautiful and just a dream. Blessings Til Next Time! Lara

I showed you this bead board wall paper hubby & I picked up at Lowes a few weeks back. We gave it a try & we are happy with the out come. This is the before with our way outdated mauve wallpaper that clashed with our dishes. Hung and waiting for the wall paper glue to completely dry before painting the ever so white paper to my drab prim taste. Painted & our dishes all put back in. I only had one thought that may change. The ceiling was left white inside the cabinet but I am wondering weather it should be painted brown to. So what do you think? Something I wrote from my heart of my son in my journal I'll share with you. He loved the outdoors and the woods. I miss seeing him watching from the tree. Mirrored you and I, Not so much the image, But the understanding, Unconditional love not questioned, Standing ground, Never to turn face, Times recalled, Challenges but overcome, Never judged or grudged, Always a new day dawned, Demise fell, Unfair and cruel, Your day never dawned again, Fallen house of cards, Gone the rays of hope, Only to be left with rage and anguish, Let it sink in and think , One of four blessed treasures be ye stolen. Blessings Til Next Time! Lara

Blog Changes Coming

It was brought to my attention that I have been misleading readers of my blog. I will be making some changes to my blog header in the near future so as not to be misleading any longer. The cabin I used for my header photo is not my home. The cabin I came across on a drive and call it my dream home. I do not go by my given name. I go by Lara as my friends call me. I do not refer to my children by their given names but their nick names. I assure you that my posts I have shared are not fiction. I apologize for not making it more clear to you all. Blessings Til Next Time! Lara

Updated Paint Samples

We could not find the wood sheen gel stain and I was not really satisfied with the look the water base wood sheen gave to the paint colors. After researching I found another gel stain to try. On our trip to pick it up I passed the shelf of paint samples. There was a color that stood out. I am so glad we got it because it and the stain are the color and look I really was going for. I have thoughts for some of the other sample colors. So which would you pick for my kitchen cabinets? I picked the first one on the left. Crazy as it might sound I would like to remove this wall to open up the master bedroom into the small game room. If it happens it will be a bedroom sitting room combined with my piano sewing room. The archway into the game room will need a double door. I am hoping for glass panes in the top and solid wood at the bottom. The glass will allow the light to flow from the game room window into the kitchen. With the extra light and the painted cupboards the homestead kitchen will be bright. The game room part will become the bed room sitting area with the piano and finally a area for my sewing table and cabinet. The rest of the master bed room will be the same other than color changes. So you see where my minds heading with those other paint samples. The wall will have to be checked to determine if it is a load bearing wall or not. I sure hope its not so the wall will go. If it is then not so easy and might not be removed. When I told Hubby what my thoughts were he said are you crazy? No I'm not crazy I just would like to have a large bed room with all the extras. Time passes but the loss of my son is as if it was today. The girl who was dating my son when he was killed contacted me twice this month. I contacted her after her second contact. She said she still has no memory and wishes she could remember. She mentioned she has asked others what happened but no one will tell her. I have felt all along she and her X who is now her boyfriend should be told by those who spent time with them the day and night of the crash what they know in hopes of jogging there memories. I asked her more than once to be sure I understood correct. She said she wanted to know and had a right to know. I stressed how hard it was to here these things in the hours and days after my sons death after I personally spoke to those involved. I explained I could only tell her what I was told weather it be truth or not and what I read in the police report. I told her it might be hard and hurtful to hear. She still wanted to know. It ended with her saying there was one thing mentioned she remembered (her X threatened to jump off the bridge when she wouldn't take him back) if she remembered anything she would let me know and hoped we could talk again that she liked talking to me and it was easier to talk to me and thanked me for talking to her. She said she feels like the accident was because of her and she is sorry for everything. I am trying to digest all this. These are some lime cookies I made for Sam. Green is still his favorite color. Some treats for Hubby. Yes I have been spoiling Topaz with pancakes topped with butter syrup and whip cream right along with Sam and I for supper. Blessings Til Next Time! Lara