Monday, June 20, 2011

The Call A Parent Fears

Fathers day started out with my walk. I walked a new route this day & noticed how growen up the area was along the road & just how far down the drop was from the edge of the road. No guardrails. I kept thinking of Laken driving by her self. This has been such a worry for me. She just got her drivers licenses June 2nd. My mind kept going to the what if she would run off the road & over the bank. No one would know where she was. I had a sick feeling. For weeks I have had such a feeling of dread & biding time before something would happen to one of my kids. After taking Lucas to work & back home to prepare our meal. Laken had been upset for a few days due to her relationship with her boyfriend. A mother can only give advise on these matters but it is their childs decision in the end. Before lunch was completely prepared she told me she was leaving. I asked her to take my cell phone. I walked around the jeep just to give the tires a check. I had a bad feeling as she drove off. I prayed she come home safely. I went inside & finished preparing our meal. Right after we sat & started to eat the phone rang. The caller id was from a cell phone I did not know. I answered & received the call a parent fears. A voice I did not know said my name asking if I was she. I was then told there had been an accident. I just knew it was one of my kids. I knew it was Laken. As I was told the news I could no longer stand. He was telling me the accident location. I had to hand the phone to my husband who got the accident location. I started to pray. A place many call eagles erie on the mountain. A location known for accidents. Placards placed their with the names of two I know of that have went over the guardrails & not survived. I did not know if she was alive or what shape she was in. Grabbing shoes & keys & having Sam get ready I heard my husband asked if she was thrown from the vehicle & what where her injuries. He repeated abrasions & we are to meet the ambulance at the hospital. He handed the phone to me & the man on the phone said he was going to give the phone to Laken now. All I could hear was loud screaming. I told her it was me & please talk to me let me know how you are. Nothing but screaming. I knew she was alive thank God. I was then told she was being treated but was hysterical. We left for the hospital stopping for gas. I could only wonder what shape she was in while remembering those screams & praying. I needed to get there. On the way I told my husband they wont really tell you how bad it is knowing you will be driving. There was no ambulance at the emergency room entrance when we arrived. I saw the man that called & then remembered I did ask who he was when he called. He asked if I was
Lakens mother as I approached him & his wife. I said yes & is the ambulance not here. His wife & him had come on to the hospital to wait & meet us there. They explained they were giving her medical treatment & stabilizing her before the transport but would be there soon. He explained this was procedure. I asked them if she was thrown from the jeep. No she was not & she was wearing her seat belt but was cut up from glass. I asked if they found her & they had seen the jeep starting to slide & his wife said she also started to slide. It had rained & the oil was coming out of the road from the heat. They stayed with her & called for help. It took awhile due to no physical address. This was the same case a few weeks ago when I called 911 when the truck rolled behind Lucas & I. The ambulance arrived & asked if I was Lakens mom. A medic handed me my cell phone. I was told I could get in the ambulance. No one can prepare for the initial shock when you see your child strapped to a board & a neck brace on their neck. Her leg twisted the sight of areas covered with blood & gravel from her toes to her forehead. I felt like I could not go on but knew I had to let her know I was there & loved her. I assured her they would get her inside & fix her up. Tears were streaming down her checks & she was in pain. As the gurney was stopped in the treatment room the same feeling of I cant go on & the wave of all drain from me with fear for my child. Something kicks in & you know you have to hold together for your child as you pray & assure them it will be ok. Laken told me she was sorry about the jeep. I explained I was not worried about the jeep & all I cared about was her. She said She thought I would be mad at her. My oldest son Atlee called my cell phone to let me know there was an accident & asked me where I was. I was at the hospital & Laken had an accident. He knew. He had been stopped in traffic coming down the mountain & knew my jeep. He got out & told the police officer it was his mothers jeep. The police officer told him it was his sister. Atlee his little girls & his girlfriend were almost to the hospital by then. When he got inside he asked me to step out of the room. He asked who was killed. We were told it was just Laken involved in the accident. That was correct. Someone had called him & said the monitor reported a death. He said they knew it was my jeep when they were left through. I was told it was on its roof. I did not want to hear any more. It had not been removed & my husband had to leave & go to the accident location. When he returned it was being taken care of & told me it was a really bad wreck & the jeep went up over the guardrails & something must have caught under the jeep because it flipped over landing on the roof & spun around stopping facing down the mountain she was going up. Laken was returned from xray. Thank God the board could be removed. There was alot of broken glass under her. Her leg was in pain & she was having chest pains. Later the neck brace could be removed. Again thank God. Hanging skin was cut from her leg. The glass was being removed & the cuts were being cleaned. Your heart sinks & you become sickened as you pick broken slivers of glass from your childs skin. When we knew Laken was stable my Husband went to pick Lucas up at work. I feared he would leave once he heard his sister was in an accident. I was afraid he would get a ride from one of his friends. I did not want him in a vehicle with another young driver. I had text him but at the time I did not know the text had failed. It came through later that night at 11:57. Way to late. Laken was released but would have to come back Monday for an ultrasound. They thought she had embedded glass or metal & may need surgery. I was so thankful we were taking her home. We had to make a stop for meds & neosporan. Laken wanted her things from the jeep. Not a trip I really wanted to make. I had heard more about the accident & really did not want to see the jeep. We took her. When I seen the jeep I knew why the medics said they did not know how she ever got out or survived. The roof was smashed down where the drivers & passenger seats are. The windshield was gashed back into the jeep cab. All the glass was shattered or completely gone from all but one door window & the back hatch windows. None of the doors nor the hatch could be closed. A tire was completely off the rim hanging. The hood was smashed & paint scraped. Doors dented in. She remembers being upside down spinning & glass shattering & seeing guardrails. She was hanging upside down smelling gas & had trouble getting the seat belt to release. When it did she hit the smashed in roof. She crawled through the broken glass & out a very small opening in what was the passenger window. This is haunting her thoughts & sleep. She woke last night screaming. I know in my heart God put his angels around her & pulled her out & spared her life & spared us the loss of a child. I can not give God enough thanks. It is never ending. Laken is upset her boyfriend did not come. She text him letting him know we were trying to reach him & she had been released. He never came called or text ed her. I really did not want to contact him & I do believe my husband was right that we should not. Her boyfriend has not been treating her right. But when you see your child laying there & begging you to please get him. I did what I could to easy things for her. The doctor said she needed to calm down & bring her blood pressure down. I prayed that she would not need surgery. The ultrasound today showed nothing. Thank God again. I dont believe she would have been going to the park to walk & clear her head that day if he had not upset her. To top it off he text her & broke up with he today. He has no compassion. Between the stress from the boyfriend lately & the trauma of the accident she is emotionally in need of help. I am taking her to our family doctor tomorrow for a referral for counselling. If you will remember her in your prayers I thank you. I am grateful the man & his wife were the ones to be there for her. The man is with the fire company less than a mile from the homestead ( but not in the company that responded but both companies do work together in some emergencies ). He knew what to do & how to get help. The mans wife comforted Laken as she prayed for her. They went to the hospital to meet us. I thanked them both as we all hugged. There are still good people in this world who care enough to help & even pray for you. I continue to warn my kids they need to be saved & ready for eternity. I continue to pray also. I jump with each ring of the phone & each sounding of the fire whisle. It went off while typing this post. I text Lucas to check on him as I prayed for all my kids. Thank God he is ok. I did not want Laken to leave the homestead tonight but she wanted to be with some friends. Girls she had went to school with. They were going to the movies. I stopped the car & checked to see if they all had seat belts on. I thought it was way to soon for her to go out even if she is 20 years old. I just want them all home safe. I will not sleep until they are all home. Maybe not even then.

Blessings Til next Time!


  1. Lara, I can not say fast enough how thankful I am that your daughter is okay. We Mom's tend to think "what if". Yes it does sound like God was with her and angels were protecting her. And my friend I can only imagine what was going thru your head and your hubbys. Fortunately you were blessed and the outcome was not nearly as bad as it could have been. God is good. Hoping things continue to improve for your daughter. No boy is worth this stress and sorrow in a young girls life. But sometime they have to learn their own lessons. Wishing you better days my friend.

  2. Thank God and all the medical personnel that Laken is going to be OK physically. As for her boyfriend?? In 1966 my husband (I did not know him then) was in a very serious crash in his car. He was driving and he had a friend with him. He had been dating a girl for several months and was sure she was the ONE!!! As he lay in a hospital bed with many serious injuries for a few weeks, she came to the hospital and broke up with him! It was so very hard on him and it took him awhile to date again -- and to trust? ..a lot longer! We met a year after the accident and he had trust issues, but we have been together now for almost 44 years! You are there to help her and I know that with your love, maybe some counseling and God's blessing she will be fine!

    God Bless you all..


  3. Lara ... Praise God that Laken survived such a horrible automobile accident & has no serious injuries in need of surgery! It truly is a miracle! I'm sure your prayers for her covered her like a blanket as she drove that dangerous bit of road. Praise God also for those 2 good Samaritans who stopped to help & comfort her. I will pray that her injuries subside ... both the physical ones & the emotional ones. Take care. Blessings, Shirlee

  4. So glad that everything turned out ok for your daughter...very scary indeed. My middle son turns 21 in a few weeks and I just reminded him about drinking and driving. He said "I know mom!" and gave me that look. I told him that was "my job" to remind him again and again and again. Hopefully your daughter will heal quickly both emotionally and physically. What a rotten SOB her boyfriend is...can't say more than that...or I might be in unfeeling and callous.

    Take care and try to sleep a wink or two.


  5. Thanking God, He protected her, sent good people to help and pray, and provided the needed medical help for her. Can't imagine how you feel, but am so grateful that she will heal and get any other help she needs. I believe her survival is a miracle, and that God will help her heal emotionally as well. Hugs to all of you, God Bless.

  6. Lara... You need not ask. You are ALL in my prayers. God bless the wonderful people that are earth bound angels to those in need. My eyes teared up while trying to read this post. It is a parent's nightmare come to life. We wear our heart on our sleeve when it comes to our children, and this accident along with the now ex boyfriend would be a lot for a Mom to take on. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. Your daughter would be devastated if her Mom wasn't there to help her along. My thoughts and prayers are of you and your family...


  7. Thank you Lord ! Bless the wonderful couple that helped your daughter !! It is a terrible phone call for any parent.I am so sorry that her ex boyfriend is so callous ! Will be praying for her and strength for you.It is by God's grace that she is here.Hugs,Jen

  8. My thoughts and prayers are with Laken and the rest of your family. My boys are 22 and 20 and I preach to them everytime they walk out that door and get in a vehicle. Wear your drinking or driving...don't get in a car with someone who has been speeding..and on and on. They get so mad at me...You tell us that a hundred times a day mom...we know! They just don't understand what they put us through. All I hear is you worry to much. That's what parenting is all about. You take care of yourself and I know it's hard...but you need your rest too. Thanks for sharing your story!

  9. Lara,
    I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.
    I've been in a situation simular to yours ~ so I truely understand how you feel. My daughter was hurt alot worse then what they told us on the phone too. She ended up in a wheel chair for 6 months because she could not bear any weight then months of therapy. Every time the fire trucks or anything with sirens go past our house my husband calls her to make sure she is o.k. he has been doing this for 7 yrs. now.
    Thanks for sharing your story ~ it's good for you to talk about it.
    Many thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. Stay strong my friend.

  10. Dear Dear Lara...Thank God your daughter is ok.. Like you said Jeeps can be replaced kids can't. I've received taht call so I know how you must have felt and I can't imagine all of the thoughts that went threw your head as you traveled to the Hospital and even now. My prayers are with you and with your family. Hopefully Laken will learn to accept that the boyfriend isn't worth having and he did her a favor splitting with her but I know it has to be really hard on her right now. Hopefully your doctor can suggest a good counsler to help her get threw this tuff time.. We all know the accident will haunt her for a long long time and you too.

    Take care of yourself and stay strong my friend you have many praying with you and for you!


  11. Oh Lara, I am so glad to hear that your daughter is okay..and i hope that counceling and therapy will help her to heal emotionally..and that later down the road she will see what a bum her boyfriend was and be glad she is rid of him...but it will take time..I hope and pray you all get some rest and no nightmares..

  12. How scarey! I'm so glad physically she's OK I'm sure she'll be distraunt for awhile.I'll keep your family and especially Laken in my prayers.She's lucky to have a wonderful family who cares you'll pull her through it.Hugs!~Amy

  13. Oh Lara, bless your hearts!! I am so thankful Laken is okay. What a heart wrenching time for your family. Laken and your family will definitely be in my prayers. How blessed she is to have a Mother who knows the power of prayer!! Big hugs to you!!
    Keep us posted.

  14. Lara,
    What a horrible day for you. But I am relieved to hear your daughter is OK.
    Prayers being said for all of you.

  15. Prayers for Laken, you and your family...
    Thank God she is okay.

  16. Our thoughts and prayers are with your daughter for complete healing in all ways!!

  17. Lara,

    Yes, thank the Lord above for taking care of your daughter and protecting her.

    She has years to find a boyfriend.. for instance, stress on her the value of education and not boy friends at that age. I wish someone had drummed that into my head..

    Pray to the Lord every time you enter a car and give it to the Lord to take care of you and your family ..

    Trust me, things can happen anywhere at any time.. been there..

    My son was in intensive care for almost two whole weeks from a benefit poker run for 4 wheelers.. long story..

    Hugs ,

  18. I am so glad that Laken is going to be alright. I will keep her in my prayers and hopefully everything will be fine with her in no time. Sounds like she is better off without the boyfriend.

    Blessing to all!!

  19. Oh my! The Lord most assuredly had his hand upon her! I am so sorry that this happened, I am thankful that she is alright.
    It sounds like this boyfriend wasn't really worth her investment to start with, she will be better off, even though she may not see it yet.
    I am thanking God along with you that she's alright!

  20. So very grateful your daughter is safely home from such a serious accident!
    The trouble with being young is not realizing sometimes relationships cause more problems then is good for us! Such a shame that this bit of info is wasted on us more 'mature' people! lol
    Anyway, I wish her a speedy recovery from her accident and her relationship. He didn't sound like a very nice person anyway, I hope she finds someone that can bring her joy.

  21. Oh my goodness. The angels were definitely with your daughter, and the couple were placed there for a reason. I'm so thankful Laken survived with only the minor injuries she did. She's young and has to be told that there is someone special out there for her and that this x-boyfriend is not the one. Hopefully she'll bounce back quick and have learned from all of this. My prayers and well wishes.

  22. Lara, As I sat and read the post, it brought me back to the call I feared the most. My daughter rolled our jeep as a young driver. My heart feels for you....the wave of emotions when you realize it is really happening. :-( So glad Laken is ok. My daughter had minor injuries also. Let's hope we never feel those feelings again.

  23. oh,Lara
    I am in tears, I can't imagine what you went through~
    My many thoughts are with you all~ sending prayers~ Thank the lord Laken is going to be fine physically~ I pray she will find strength to help her through this emotional time~ I am so glad to hear she is going to a counseling~ the little girl needs someone to talk to with the knowledge to guide her~ she has a plate full~ keep us updated on how Laken is doing~
    I will continue to pray for all of you~

  24. my goodness! how scary! i am so glad that Laken is OK...
    my sister was in a horrible car accident when she was in 11th grade... i remember my parents getting the call. it was a traumatic experience! you were definitely lucky to have that nice couple there for Laken while she was going through everything!
    prayers for her and your family!

  25. Lara,
    I know exactly what you are going thru.
    My middle son had an accident when he was on his way home from college.
    An older couple crashed into him from behind on a busy highway and sent him flying. GOD works in mysterious ways. If not for that horrendous accident
    (he suffered a crushed pelvis and torn sperm and liver), the doctor would never have discovered a liver disease. Not that a liver disease is a good thing but it was found and is being treated. Unfortunately, it is incurable and he is disabled because of it. Fortunately, he is alive and I get to spend time with him.
    Things like this happen in life. We can't predict or prevent them. We just need to savor every moment we have. We can't live our children's lives for them. They are bound to make mistakes and luckily, this is one Laken will recover from. She is blessed to have you, praying for her and there to help her get through a difficult time.
    BTW---boyfriend is a jerk. Good riddance.
    And cars are replaceable----children are not.
    Will pray for a speedy recovery. While you may not like it, the fact is she will probably listen to her friends first. Hopefully, they see 'him' like we do.......

  26. Dear Lara, What a trial your daughter and you have been through. My heart and prayers go out to you. How wonderful that God protected your daughter. I have four kids on the road (two now married). I have had to learn to trust God with their safety. But you are right, it is a phone call no parent wants to get. I sometimes find myself 'jumping' at the phone when one of the younger kids is on the road. I guess it's just a mommy thing. You did great Lara.